Graduation?

Graduation is a time for happiness, right? Everyone says it is at least. How did we even come up with such a thing. We all go through 13 years of making friends, enemies, and scars. Why are we celebrating? Not only are we saying good bye to some of our closest friends, but were saying hello to a cold and dark world. Its not that I don't want to I just want to know why. I personality, if you couldn't have guess, am scared at that thought. I have an idea of where I'm going to go, what i'm going to do, but i still don't know HOW I'm going to do any of this. We toss our caps and hope for the best. The best being we go where we want to, we do what we love, and have no hiccups in the meantime. But that my overly happy friend isn't life. Heartbreaks, getting you hopes up, and dreaming with no way it could happen. Sadly this is it, the world we are getting our hope up to when we say "hello", an of course we expect that same in return. Some of you might get it, but most of us won't. I don't care where I go. I want to get out of here for a while; I'll come back, I'd miss this place to much, but I'd like to see something other than Minford Ohio. The world is a unforgiving place, it never forgets, and it never lets go. Doing something now can affect the future we're struggling to create. I'm not a pessimist, I swear, but sometimes it good to look forward to the bad, and be surprised when it does a 360. Freshman year I expected the worsted, and yet it was the best year of high school. All my friends liked each other, we partied, we loved each other and had no problems hurting someone for messing with one of us. We were a tight knit group, and I'll never forget that. And now I'm here, friends scattered to different places, they've done things I never thought they had the capability of, and i"m sorry to say but I can't, and will never look at them the same way. In a way Senior year sucks. I'm constantly haunted by the memories, and it still hurts me. In the same since though, I'm going to leave, and make new ones. I'll be smarter in picking them out and wiser on who to let see the true me. I wish it could go back to that way it was but, it just wasn't meant to be. So lets go back to the original topic, huh? Graduation is sad, and happy, and I'm going to be drunk so sorry classmates. NEVER DRINK YOUR PROBLEMS AWAY! I can because if I don't Imma just insult everyone because I'm terrified. I Love/Hate my class and I Love/Hate seeing them go. I'm terrified but proud, proud that I Grace Marie Ellifritt did it. I made it 13 years of school, along with heartbreaks, depression, jealousy, and happiness.


                                                      -Grace

                                                                  P.S. Yes i realize that was really cheesy....deal with it...

My Parasite.

   Isn't is crazy how we wake up in the morning and expect it to go the same way it always does? Is it mad to wish for unexpected happiness, instead of the normal? A call, message, or a pigeon for someone's sake? Just something that holds a few words, like hi, or something I don't care anymore. I'm so tired of feel like I screwed up. I know I didn't do anything and yet this feeling consumes me... It fills my bottle like mind until I crack and fall onto the floor surrounded by other shards of myself. Then I just wait, until I get swept up and made into a new bottle. Each time my bottle gets smaller because there is pieces left behind. Its not healthy. It can cause so much negativity and yet I feel like I'm doing it to myself. So is it bad to wish for a change. Something to look forward to. Excitement? I woke up this morning with a parasite in my mind. Depression. Making its appearance once more. The night before I cried while on the phone with my little brother. But I wasn't sad. I was laughing and feeling great for being to help my brother on a video game. Maybe it was the positive attitude from him that pulled it to the surface.  I've been living such a routine based life, I forget sometimes to check on myself. I need a friend. One in person I can truly talk to, with no doubt of betrayal or lying. Just a friend. Someone who knows when the parasite surfaced. Someone to ask what a matter, and be persistent. I'll tell them, its just hard, but I would!  I feel so alone and forgotten sometimes. I try to tell myself that I'm okay, I'm stronger than this. But there is no true, 100% way to treat this illness.  Its different for everyone. I'm not truly crazy. Just lost. And helpless. I'm about to drowned and yet I can breath so clearly. I'm confused and terrified. But I guess there is a bright side  of this. I can relate to the people who have already been pulled down. And maybe. Just maybe I can give them a life line. And they'll be my role model, and I'll be theirs.