Why I started.

                Well My names Grace. My Life is well like hell right now. Thats the main reason I decided to blog, and my whole bottling my emotions had to stop after a while of it... I lost who I was. I was nothing but a ball of angry and sadness. I honestly don't know who would read this, but personaly I don't care. So I guess I'll get to why my life is the way it is right now. Basically one of my ex-friends now, started dating this 21 year old, might I add she was 15, now she's 16, and after I witnessed them cheating on each other...I cracked. I blocked my once best friend and now people think I'm mad? I'm not mad, just upset. I started this whole Ignoring war, almost like the Cold War... Mainly because neither of us have the guts to ask what happened, I've tried before telling her, he's nothing but a cheating S.O.B. but like a girl MADLY in "LOVE" with this guy she took his lies over my truth. I was crushed I don't want to admit it, but I was done, I hate leaving people out in the cold like that, but I've done tried, and at this time...I had no choice but to sit back and watch the train crash. Maybe I was wrong for tring to help...I could of been like many of my other friends who didn't try, but instead I atleast tried to help...Right? The worst part of my day was when I heard someone who I thought I could trust tell another girl that WE meaning me and the girl acrossed the barrier, were acting like drama queens. which hurt alot...another reason why I started blogging. So people wouldn't have to listen to me, or talk behind my back. And now thinking about it I did talk alot about it. Life sucks...alot. And today I had a flash back to several years ago, when my depression was at its all time high, I thought about cutting myself...and then I had a desire to write a suicide note...which I'd never do, or atleast I don't think I would. Sadly I have thought about it before but thats been years ago, still have't told my Mother the about how bad it was. The only thing that could bring me out of it was to think and count how many people would care if I just pushed myself off the cliff? It wasn't a lot...but the ones that I knew would care, ment the most to me. :)

 

-Grace